How you handle conversations has a huge impact on your relationships. Ensuring safety in conversations is essential to allow for the real issues to be discussed. If there's a safe environment you can talk about anything.
Uncle Bob outlines what he has learned over the years when it comes to architecture on a systems and project level. The goal of architecture is to reduce the long-term cost of a project by delaying decisions and maintaining as much flexibility as possible. A special team does not accomplish this goal but architects who are the best programmers. Through the pragmatic application of principles and architectural methods, one can make a project easier and more cost effective.
By asking your peers and or subordinates the right questions and listening you gain greater insight and they learn more than if you just talked for the duration or engaged in random social chit chat. The words that you use to formulate questions makes a big difference as does the sequence in which you ask particular questions. Realize that you do not have to answer _"yes"_ to questions and that it is your job to get buyin and more than tacit agreement for anything that you ask of someone - that way you know that you're on the same page.
Solitude allows leaders and followers alike to find peace amid great turmoil and strife. It is the way that leaders are created through careful introspection and reflection. It balances one's emotions, allows for analytical and intuitive clarity, allows for the greatest creativity, and allows one to reconnect and stand firm with their core principles.